Wednesday, May 5, 2010

We're getting there!

We went yesterday to fill out our new loan paperwork for the house, and it's a bit of paperwork, let me tell you. Because Dad and Dani helped us with the down payment, they now have to fill out a form and give a copy of *their* bank account and a host of other things. It's a frickin' mess. So that's a good time. We're still hoping for a closing date of the 15th, though, and the date is getting closer and closer. We are so eager to get into our new home, it's insane.

Work has been getting me down lately. I applied for a different position within the company and while others have been accepted into the varying positions, I still have not heard anything. It's frustrating to me because while I'm sure they are all worthy, I know for sure that my stats are better than a couple and the position is about $2 more an hour than I'm currently making. It's frustrating to work for a company that I feel doesn't really value me as an employee. It's frustrating that I used to have a job where I made $5 more an hour and had more responsibility. It's frustrating that the company keeps making all these changes but they don't communicate the changes well so our members are really confused and then have to attempt to explain to them the new rules, when we ourselves are not getting adequate training on the new policies. It's frustrating in general.

I've been looking around at other companies, but I'm unwilling to remove my nose stud, so that does limit where I can go. I could have applied for an asst manager position at a bank, and while my wrist tattoos would have been fine, the nose stud would not. WTF. Most people don't even notice I have it. But *I* know it's there. I only got it pierced again last November and it's finally gotten to the point where I can move it around without hurting. There is no way I will take it out.

It's frustrating to live in a conservative state where that kind of thing apparently matters. I mean, a tasteful piercing is not a detractor, nor does it mean I cannot do just as good a job, if not better, than somebody else. *sigh*

I've been in that restless state again, where I want things to be different, but I don't know what, nor do I know what I want to change. I mean, we're buying a house, which is a huge change, so maybe I should just try to wait until that's all over and done with, and we're all moved it.

Really though, I want a job I can do from home. I have a friend in Oregon who does freelance work from her house, and let me tell you, that sounds stellar. How awesome would it be to work your own hours, as long as you got the project done on time? We're hoping the Sympathetic Soap company of ours will take off in the next year or so. We really need to start doing the craft fairs and getting the word out. It'll be nice once we're in the house because then we can apply for the business license and I can start marketing like I want to.

Also, I've been eating like crap. It's like I've been compelled to just eat and eat, regardless of what it is or whether or not I'm full. And I'm all temperamental and I'm an emotional eater. I wouldn't say I've gained any weight from this latest go-round, but I probably will shortly if I can't get a handle on it.

It's kind of frightening, really. Too much change, and not enough change.

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